Eulogy for “BABY DOLL” By Her Daddy, Henry Eke
This is the day the Lord has made, so let us all rejoice, according to the Holy Book of God. First and foremost, on behalf of Onyeaku Eke families of Nekede, Owerri, and in United States of America, together with the families of my in-law, Nze Hycienth Okonkwo of Odenkwume, Obowo Local Government Area, Imo State, Nigeria, I welcome all of you to this solemn occasion as my family prepare to commit our daughter, sister, cousin, niece, grand daughter, and friend, Princess Chinwendu Eke to the everlasting journey to meet her creator.
I want to thank God Almighty for granting you all journey mercy to be here with my family and pray that when you return to your respective destinations, his mercy and guidance will continue to manifest in your lives forever. I want to express my family’s appreciations to each and every one of you that sent letters, cards, emails, text messages, poems, phone calls, personal visits with gifts, flowers, foods and financial supports. We cannot thank you all enough. Please be rest assured that every single message to us was comprehensively read with deep sense of appreciation. I want to thank the Owerri Progressive Union, Incorporated, U.S.A & Canada for its incredible amount of financial support it rendered to my family both individually and as a Union. Your support and presence are beyond our imagination. Thank you. We are deeply grateful to you.
I want to thank the leadership and many members of World Owerri Peoples Congress for the words of encouragement we received and
those that sent financial support to us. We want to thank our cousins and Nde Owerre in United Kingdom, Owerre people in Dallas, Texas, Dozie Owerri, Abuja, Nigeria; Coalcity Social Club, Dallas and proposed Coalcity Social Club, Austin, Texas Chapter; and Peoples Club of Nigeria International Worldwide for their words of encouragements, financial supports, prayers and presence. We are very grateful to all of you. I want to thank good nurses on ninth and seventh floor at M.D. Anderson Hospital, Houston, Texas for all they did for Princess, especially Nurse Edna who performed above and beyond to render her services humanely to our daughter, Princess. We want to thank psychologists and chaplaincy for their professionalism in dealing with Princess. We are grateful to all of you.
I also want to thank Shoreline Community for their spiritual support as my family deal with this monumental loss of our dear Princess. Our appreciation go to the University of Houston and Princess’s Sorority organization for organizing a moving memorial tribute to honor her for the so many lives she touched as a student and graduate assistant when she taught four semesters. Thank you for devoting such period of time to honor our daughter at this time of your busy school work. We want to thank Progressive Igbo Women Association, Organization of Nigerian Women, and all Nigerian and African women in Austin, Texas, for its supports in keeping night vigils in our house to help my wife deal with our grief and sorrow. We also want to thank my colleagues at Texas Department of Transportation for their prayers and support throughout our ordeal during and after Princess’s hospitalization. I cannot conclude these lines of appreciation without mentioning my director, Mr. Pete Garcia, a God-fearing man who loves mankind and exemplified perfection, fairness and kindness in the execution of his duties. Mr. Garcia, thank you, Sir, for your support by allowing me to use my time to be with my daughter when she needed her daddy by her bed side. Thank you, Office of Civil Rights for sending bouquet of flowers to us. For African and Nigerian Communities in Austin, Texas, words of mouth cannot express our deepest regard and appreciation for your display of impeccable brotherhood and sisterhood. Your activities contributed in the amelioration of our burdened hearts as we mourn for Princess. For our American friends who visited my family with financial supports, cards, cakes, bouquet of beautiful flowers and most importantly, your presence could not be over emphasized. To all of you that played one role or the order during Princess’s hospitalization and after her death, we salute all of you for being kind to my family and pray that God in his infinite mercy bless each and every one you and your families in hundred folds. To all of you who made financial contributions to my family, I cannot mention your names one by one but you know that we are grateful to your gestures. Thank you very much. Thank you Committee of Friends of managing a spectacular show during the Christian Wake keeping; thank you very much.
Today, the remains of Chinwendu is about to return to mother earth, but her spirit is already resting in God’s vineyard. I have no doubt that Princess is in Heaven with her Maker. Princess was born in the Appalachain State of West Virginia on March 21, 1985. At that time, I was the only Nigerian student out of about 30 men at Marshall University with a Nigerian wife. No wonder that when Baby Princess was born, she was surrounded by many “UNCLES” and enjoyed lots of love from Nigerian Community and my church, Otterbein United Methodist Church under the leadership of Rev. William DeMoss. After my graduation on May 1985, Baby Princess, her mother and I left West Virginia for Austin, Texas by road. At that time, my wife and I made a commitment to stop whenever Baby Princess needed special attention such as changing her wet diaper and we did as promised except at one very occasion. It was at the middle of over a mile long bridge of Mississippi River when Baby Princess released her angelic voice. Frightened by the blue color of Mississippi River, my wife screamed, “No daddy, not at this time; I cannot change her diaper on top of this bridge with her eyes closed.” Baby Princess endured until we passed the long bridge, then she changed her diaper with comforting apology. We drove into Little Rock, Arkansas and celebrated Princess’s two months of life on earth at the home of my friend, Mr. Chinyere Louis Ohaka, who now lives in Laurel, Maryland with his family. We are honored to have Mr. Ohaka in the church today as he pays his last respect to a baby girl who graced his home twenty five years ago. As Baby Princess and her parents journeyed into Texarkana, Texas, we were pulled over by Texas Highway Patrolman: “Son, where are you going.” The trooper queried? “I am heading to Austin, Texas, Sir” On sighting Baby Princess resting comfortably in her carry-on seat, the Trooper chuckled in admiration, “what a cute little one.” Perhaps, because of Baby Princess, I escaped receiving a traffic ticket for illegal change of lane.
We settled in Austin and later Pflugerville, Texas. Princess attended Pflugerville Elementary, Parkcrest Middle School and Pflugerville High School. During her early education, she proved herself to be a good student, performed excellently well and respected authorities. She never turned her work late and was punctual at every school event. She received countless of commendations from every school she had attended. Upon her graduation from Pflugerville High, she chose to go Texas Tech University, Lubbock, Texas with intention to study medicine after her baccalaureate degree. During our flight to Lubbock, I wept all through because I was going to miss her. From time to time, she would say to me, “Daddy oo, stop crying, I am not dying but going to college.” Toward the end of that Fall Semester at Texas Tech, Princess had a crisis that hospitalized her for three weeks. Her mother, being her primary caretaker and a seasoned Nurse, flew to Lubbock to assess her situation. Perceived by what she observed as inadequate care, Nky, as I dearly call her with passion, requested an immediate discharge for Children Hospital, Brackenridge in Austin, Texas, but the medical team refused citing that Princess could be in danger. My wife remained adamant and contacted me to map out an evacuation plan for Princess. She added, “If you fail to do so, Nne” as she fondly referred to Princess, “might be in serious danger.” This conversation with my wife took place at about 8:00 pm.
How to get Princess to Austin became a problem. The Lubbock Hospital could discharge her as my wife had requested against medical advice, but the only commercial airline operating in Lubbock could not take Princess with oxygen tank on the cruising altitude. We had to come out with plans immediately. The Lubbock hospital refused to fly her in a medical helicopter because her discharge was against medical advice. I suggested to my wife to take the last Greyhound Bus to Abilene, Texas whereas, my son, Henry Jr. was called out of football match at his school to accompany me to Abilene to pick up Princess and her mother. We left Pflugerville at about 8:30 pm and arrived in Abilene around 2:00 am, picked Princess and her mother, together we headed back to Austin and arrived at Brackenridge Hospital at about 8:00 am. Princess later recovered and enrolled at the University of Houston where she graduated her baccalaureate and master degrees.
In Houston, she made many friends and touched many lives with her smiles and proven integrity. In Austin, people knew her as being gentle and respectful. During the weekend of April 11, 2010, right in this church, she answered alter call by Pastor Coke and re-dedicated her life to Christ Jesus. On May 14, 2010, her family trooped into Houston to celebrate her master degree graduation. I watched her with deep sense of admiration as she walked into the hall, beaming with endless smiles and looking forward for a brighter future. Her younger siblings, Jhene and Obi were in attendance cheering and throwing their fists in the air for support. As for me and my wife, we continue to say prayers for Princess because the following weekend, she was scheduled to check into M.D. Anderson to commence with Transplant procedure to get rid of Sickle Cell that she never allowed to impede her academic pursuit. After graduation ceremony, many families, including mine were outside greeting their sons and daughters. Princess was busy with her sorority family, friends and well wishers as she received bouquets of flowers. As she was circled by her sorority sisters and danced and cheered, I proceeded under a tree and shaded tears of joy and sorrow that my baby was to go into hospital in a week’s time to pursue a dangerous medical procedure. The impending transplant also weighed heavily on Princess’s mind that after the ceremony, she requested that we return to Pflugerville. She declined lunch as she added, “Let’s celebrate everything together after my successful transplant.” As we were about to enter into M.D. Anderson Hospital on May 23, 2010, I pulled Princess by the side and asked, “Big Girl, do you want to change your mind about this transplant?” She replied, “No daddy, let’s go. I am ready daddy O O!”
I do not intend to rehearse my interactions with “Big Girl” as I fondly call her because if I try, I might not complete this exercise. On June 17, 2010, Princess was successfully discharged after a successful transplant. Princess threw her fists in the air and praised God that she was looking forward to live a life free from Sickle Cell. In one of her write-ups, she paid tribute to her family, especially her mother for taking care of her, and for being there with her in many hospital rooms in the past twenty years. In her words, Princess wrote, “I believe in the power of Christ. He sent my brother as my exact match. Sickle Cell has hindered me for the past 20 years of my life. I have been given a second chance in life. It’s time for me to start over. Beginning my life after everything I have been through. Sickle Cell will not hold me back any longer…” After twelve days of discharge, on June 29, 2010, Princess was re-admitted with a diagnosis of Graft Versus Host Disease of the gastrointestinal tract – a common complication associated with transplant patients. At that time, Princess was told that her diagnosis could be taken care off with a simple steroid in a week’s time. Big Girl later succumbed to complications. She passed away smiling.
To my dear wife, Nky, thank you very much for taking good care of Nne for 20 years when her illness came to our knowledge. Your love for our daughter was immeasurable. You are a classic example of motherhood. On every admission, you remain steadfast in her medical treatment as you genuinely challenged doctors after doctors, nurses after nurses and displayed thorough knowledge on Sickle Cell. No wonder when the State of Texas needed a coordinator for Sickle Cell Program at the former Department of Health, the agency turned to you for coordination. Princess once confided in me that after her successful transplant, “I would say thank you to mommy for her devotion toward me for all these years.” I am thanking you, Honey, on behalf of Princess and I believe that your daughter remained grateful to you, even in death. Nne is smiling in Heaven and thanking you for being her mother.
To my son, Jr. as I fondly call him, you are just a loving son and brother who cared for dear sister. How could your family forget the day the hospital extracted the bone marrow from you? We got to the hospital at about 5:00 am and you never felt frightened about the procedure as you put it, “Dad, this is for Princess. I can do anything whatsoever for Princess so that she could live a life free from Sickle Cell.” You did everything and displayed incredible amount of love for your big sister. You traveled busy highway from the University of North Texas, Denton to Houston every weekend to be with your sister. Many times, you have given your mother and I time off when you spent countless of time with your sister, running errands such as getting cold water, and fetching new clothes for her from her suitcase and searching for her treasured cell phone when she misplaced it in her hospital room. How could I forget what happened on the eve of your sister’s death? After I lost hope on seeing the deterioration of your sister, I made a determination not to expose our family to watch Princess to die, I suggested everyone to retire at her apartment until the hospital called us, others obliged, but you stated, “No Dad, I want to keep watch on my sister. I cannot leave her alone” My wife and I, Obi and Jhene reluctantly left at about 1:00 am, sobbing and hoping for God’s miracle in the morning. As we sat in Princess’s apartment, the pictures of her continued to stare at us uninterruptedly as my wife and I were thrown in deep pain and agony. At six O’clock in the morning I text you “Son, what is going on with your sister?” You replied immediately, “Dad, it is a matter of hours Princess passes.” Thank you Jr for your love for your sister. Thank you, son, for your devotion and sacrifice you gave to your big sister. Deep in my heart, I believe she is watching over us, and saying, “Thank you, Junior.” As for your mother, she remains grateful to you all the way.
To my daughter Jhene, thank you for traveling up and down on U.S Highway 290 back and forth Prairie View A&M University to visit and stay with your sister. Before the transplant, I saw your interaction with your big sister, confidant and best friend. I remembered the beautiful dress you bought for Princess and she obliged that she would wear the dress upon discharge but sad to say Princess was not going to wear it after all. Thank you Baby J for being there for your sister when she needed you.
To you Obi, thank you for the fun memories you shared with your sister, Princess. I remembered the beautiful bed spread you bought for her and Princess accepted it with smiles and hugs in the hospital. I remembered when I delivered the message you sent to Princess that you have selected special games to compete with her upon release from hospital. Princess beamed with smiles when she got your message and simply said, “Ok Obi.” It was obvious that the special game you selected to play with your elder sister shall never take place unless in your dreams. I hope you take solace in the previous games you had with her. When I recollected your interactions with her, it was nothing but sweet and beautiful memories.
To Princess’s Sorority sisters, thank you for your support and for being her friend. On the eve of her death when you got the information that her condition had deteriorated, you invaded the 7TH Floor that made the passage of the hallway practically impassable. Thank you for the beautiful portrait of Princess you gave to us with her usual demeanor, a broad and sincere smile. Thank you for the beautiful and hand designed banner with a well-drawn dove flying away that you indicated must be put in her casket, and the financial assistance you sent to us through Princess’s siblings, Henry Jr and Jhene. Please be rest assured that the banner is resting with Princess for ever. In the banner, you summed it impeccably well, “We had Princess, now Heaven has a Queen.” Thank you for your kind gestures.
The morning of her death was the most toughest and difficult day of our lives. I thought I was going to pass out as my heart started to beat suspiciously like a troubled grand father clock. As my family and I arrived at the hospital, and headed toward Princess’s room, I met her brother, Henry Jr, who sat motionless as he kept vigil on her sister since last night. He spoke to no one, but we had figured out the outcome. It appeared that Princess was waiting for our arrival before she proceeded to eternity. As soon as we arrived, the monitor started to count down. I realized that I was not watching a movie, but my first child was about to die. What a heart-wrenching tragedy to watch a productive child to die under the nose of a grieving parents and sibling? I wished I could swap with her, but it was impossible. The worst feeling on earth is to watch your own very child to die. We were hopeless, helpless and feelings of guilt overcome our imaginations. Personally, it struck me like a sledge hammer. What kind of father who cannot save his dying child? I felt very inadequate and not worthy to be called a father because I could not help or rescue my very first child. I felt Princess’s tears eroding down as to say, “Daddy, please save me.” I summoned up courage and started to praise God, rehearsed Psalm 23 and Our Lord’s Prayer while holding Princess’s right hand and her grieving mother holding her left hand. Jhene was screaming, “No Princess! No big Sister! Jhene continued to yell and scream, whereas Henry Jr and Obi were completely flabbergasted as endless tears meandered down their cheeks. When Princess took her last breathe at about 8:14 am, I saluted her, kissed her feet and forehead, and asked Gold Almighty to bless her and forgive her sins and accept her in his Kingdom. Her mother and I fell on her and wept profusely. Her mother kissed her as we dropped to our knees and wept in agony.
We loved Princess, but God loves her more. Because of her love for education, her family is establishing Princess Chinwendu Eke Memorial Scholarship Foundation to help brilliant kids to receive high school and college education. This foundation shall keep Princess’s memories in the hearts of people of goodwill who loved her dearly. As we mourn your quick exit, Princess, we believe that your siblings could step up to carry on with your legacy. You left indelible marks and we thank you for the great 25 years that the Lord allowed you to share with us. I was expecting a wedding dance and a homecoming with your husband and new child, but the Almighty God knows why he took you from us. There must not be any question to God as to why you left us because he is your creator. Your Igbo name, Chinwendu, meaning “God owns life” is exactly what it is. You were loaned to us by God and he has collected what belongs to him.
Rest in perfect peace gentle Princess. Rest in peace, Nne as your mommy fondly called you. Rest in peace as the community that witnessed your growth from childhood into womanhood is here to bid you farewell. The same community that filled your graduation party is mourning for your great loss. As you sat on the right hand of God, we are rest assured that your gentle spirit is hovering over us until we meet again. Thank you for your memories. I have accepted with heavy heart that no more early morning phone calls from you to know if I made it to work through busy IH 35. I have accepted your departure from us, but your spirit and memories live in us forever. We remembered the call you made to Obi, “Obi, goodbye and after this conversation, we are no longer related.” She called Jhene and stated, “Goodbye Jennifer.” As for me and Henry, Jr, she exited without saying goodbye. A week before her passing in one of her conversations with her mother, Princess stated, “Mom, please let me go.” Her mother asked her, “where?” She responded, “Back to Heaven.” Her mother stated, “No you can’t” Princess then asked, “Why?” Her mother replied, “I told you if you are already been to Heaven and was sent back, that means that there are things you need to accomplish, and besides, you are too young, just 25 years old.” Princess added, “Mommy, may be you can live hundred years.” Her mother replied, “Hundred years is too long because I would not know many people around.” Princess then smiled at her mommy and said, “Goodbye mommy.” Her mother quickly interrupted her, “Nne, don’t say goodbye to me.” Princess would not continue with the conversation.
On behalf of your loving and caring mother, Nky, Henry Jr, Jhene, Obi, cousins, nieces, maternal grand parents and your community that you touched, I your daddy oo, signing off by saying, so long, Chinwe Nwam, So long Mkpoto Nekede, So long Mkpoto Owerre.
Ndewo daa, Ada Papa ya, Ndewo Ada Otulle, Ijeoma nwam!
Always and for life everlasting,
Daddy,
Mazi Henry Uroegbulam Eric Otulle Eke, Sr
September 25, 2010.
Re
